How can we be doing this again? Who gets laid off three times in 18 months? Even in this economy, I cannot make sense of what is happening to my family. As of yesterday my husband is again unemployed. This is the guy who has been on a pretty steady career path for the entire 19 years I have known him. He took a chance a year and a half ago and has been paid in nothing but humiliation and panic for his effort.
Yes, I am gainfully employed in a recession proof profession, so technically things could be much worse. But today I do not feel like things could be worse. I do not feel lucky.
We had a plan and it is shot to hell. Although my earning potential is such that I can almost support my family, like many 40 somethings who married late and waited to have kids, I have structured my work life to allow for lots of time with my kids. Although I am good at my profession, I am a great mom and this economic freefall is taking precious time from my kids' fleeting childhood.
My husband and I have done the "role reversal" thing and although he is a fantastic dad, it works best for us when I am the one in the trenches with the kids.
We all do better. I am not an "I am my kids mom" Dr. Laura kind of parent. I simply want to give them joy and stability and G-d willing a college education.
I dread telling the kids this weekend that Daddy lost his job again and Mommy will be away from home more often to support the family. I fully recognize that many families are in much more dire straits, but I will save the "I feel lucky" thoughts for another day. Right now I need to go tell the kids........
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